STARTING WORK

Today is the 1st working day for me. Kinda looking forward because my money is running low, after paying off road tax and car insurance, and the kids' allowances and maid's salary and what not. I realised that I relatively broke even, and have not saved much.

Funny enough, I am not worried. For some reason, I felt peaceful and calm after knowing how poor I was. This perhaps is due to being able to enjoy Christmas for 12 days or more, and bringing it to full closure at Epiphany with an evening Mass at St Ig's 6pm mass.

Started work on a wrong foot. I procrascinated and lazed, and then realised I was late for my lesson. Sent in an sms to my client with some lame excuse, only to find out they had forgotten about me. Just as well. I became early for my next lesson. Divine intervention? Fat hope. Pure arse luck, although I must say it hurt my day's takings.

Traffic was horrible. I cursed, gestured, swore and lost patience. So much for inviting people to pray 3 times a day to ask for God's graces. I only think the patience we ask for is nothing compared to the immense patience that God has for all of us.

Think about this. HE can tolerate our disobedience, our anger, evil thoughts, lusty desires, our curses at HIM either by word, or action, or both, our hypocrisy, our indifference, our abuses, etc. How in the world can we be God's witnesses and live in HIS light when we are looking for darkness?

The only conclusion I can think of is faith, conscious choice and resolve. Allow me to explain. When we fall into sin, we either think of some excuse to justify our actions; trying to turn black and white into grey, or kick ourselves so badly that we either get discouraged or weaker and weaker.

Some thought crept into me. I believe THIS is divine intervention.

NO SIN IS TOO SMALL TO OMIT FROM YOUR CONFESSION, and NO SIN IS TOO BIG THAT IT CANNOT BE CONFESSED.

I firmly believe our God is a god who loves us dearly. He hates the sin, but loves the sinner. I would think if the repentants feel HIS love through the sin they struggle with, then HE would gladly indulge us to sin, and yet be sorry each time we fall in order for us to know how much HE loves us. Contradicting right? But Jesus is very controversial. I have faith if I had to feel God this way, then it shall be through my struggles with sin.

The difference, however, would be our conscious choice to do good. We must stay vigilant, and avoid the occasions of sin. But if we do fall into our weaknesses, we must trust that God will forgive us each time we feel true contrition of our sins. And what better way to increase our faith through resolving never to sin again? Hence, this is our prayer at the confessional before we receive absolution.

Lent is coming. Let's resolve to make the coming 40 days a war between our good side, and our evil side. Which would you want to win?

O My God, I truly am sorry for the sins I have committed today, and in my past life. I resolve with YOUR help and grace to feel full contrition for my sins, and to resolve never to sin again. Walk with us Jesus every step of the way, and be near us when we fall so that we can continue our journey with YOU to our eternal home.
Amen.